Look out... I feel a blog coming on.

Do you mind if I deviate from the original intent of this blog (which is to brag about my kids, of course) for a few moments? I just have a lot to say, and frankly, there are no better listeners than the random people that read blogs, right?

Last night I had my third grade music program and in spite of me, it went wonderfully. In fact, I would probably say it was one of the best programs I've been involved in. The program was a celebration of Oregon's birthday (which is today, if you didn't know). We sang "Fifty Nifty" (of course) and some good 'ol favorite patriotic songs including "Oregon, My Oregon." I had a sing-a-long for the parents in the middle with a medley of "My Country Tis of Thee," "America, the Beautiful," and "This is My Country." Despite 30% of the audience wanting to roll their eyes at the thought of standing and singing, I think they really enjoyed it. A few of the parents of my bi-lingual kids came up to me with tears in their eyes saying how much they enjoyed the performance. What an incredible feeling when someone who speaks very little English comes up to you and uses the few words they know to express their gratitude. I know how uncomfortable I am using the few Spanish words I know in front of people who speak that language. So, my point here is, It was a hugely humbling experience.

This program came at the perfect time, when I was starting to feel really inadequate about my teaching ability and my group management skills. Right now, the music teachers in the south area are doing "Honor Choir," which is a select group of kids from each of the elementary schools in the South feeder area. They come together and we teach a choir for 6 weeks and then have a performance with the high school and middle schools in our area. Each of the elementary music teachers takes a turn at teaching and directing different songs that we will perform. Talk about feeling less than! Some of those teachers are amazing to watch. They have this power over the kids. The kids hang on every word the teacher says, they are quiet while the teacher is teaching. I have learned a ton from the other music teachers and am so glad that I get to watch them, but, I am not comfortable teaching in front of them. Besides that, I am not comfortable conducting when there is more than one part being sung. Something about cueing different parts totally throws me off. I would much rather be the singer following the conductor than the other way around. However, I am trying to take what I can learn out of this to improve my skills rather than beat myself up over it.

Sorry about all of this babbling, but I guess if you got tired of reading it, you would have just clicked the X as Micah says. My main point here is that I feel so blessed and want to tell you that God is faithful. I have to remind myself that he will finish what he started. He gave me the desire and skill to do this job and he is continually molding me into the person that these kids need. He faithfully lifts me up when I need a boost and gently points out things that I need to work on.

Now I'm feeling embarrassed about all of this, but I think I will post it anyway. Maybe I should start a blog where I really don't know any of the people who read it and they don't know me. Its hard being vulnerable, but its human and that's what I am... a work in progress. Luckily I have God for a creator.